An author’s introduction, according to himself

They called him Emil. And Alex, Martin, Tristan, Connie, and Gray, among many other misnomers he hides behind. People usually stayed away from him and he usually stayed away from people. He firmly believed that other people were simply too engrossed in the pursuit of fortune and would only look for friends that they need, which, he swore to himself, that he would never be like.

He was a “wonderer”. At least, to himself he was. A few days ago, he was a time-traveler, closely observing the battlefields of Berlin and Manila, and even commanding his own unit in Bastogne. And a few weeks before that, he was a visionary, leading countries and and men to greatness. But that was before. Now, he wonders about everything and anything, spawning ideas to fuel his always-freshly-inspired self. Of friends, he had none, but of enemies, he knew he had many. He always took things very critically, which some people, including some of his friends and family, found annoying. They told him that life wasn’t meant to be analyzed, but he always begged to differ. He liked being different, even if it meant going against others’ principles. And he valued freedom above every other virtue this world had to offer.

They always told him that he was smart, but  will never be able to get anywhere because he was disobedient and unpersonable. He hated that. He never bragged about himself and never wanted to get close to people that he knew weren’t good, but for them to say that he will never get far in this life, that did it. He was doggedly determined to prove to himself and to everyone that he would be, in some degree, having a good life.

His family was, in a way, both a pillar of support and a source of psychological disarray. Growing up without a father, he, along with his 3 siblings, had to discipline themselves in such a way that their mother would at least be able to support them without much cost to herself. Sadly, life isn’t always like that. His two younger brothers were a constant source of chaos, and he himself was schooled very well in the juvenile art of vexing others. Nevertheless, along the way, he learned to behave and grasp the reality of his responsibility, that he was the first in line, and as such had the burden of bringing his dysfunctional family up.

That was years ago. As of now, he is pursuing a degree in Communications Research at the University of the Philippines, as an irregular freshman (talk about luck! I can tell you how he got to this, but that would be a long story for another post.). Despite how mature he thinks he’s grown, the reality remains that he is and wants to grow more, physically, mentally, and individually. He now cherishes his self-proclaimed profession of being a “wonderer”, and revels in his newfound love for Philosophy, a subject he feels is truly for him, a person who loves to ask questions and is never content even upon hearing the answer. In a way, he knows that there is nothing in store for him in the future, save for moving ever-forward in life, pursuing a goal that he knows not yet and at the same time knows very well. In the end, his story will be, as with an overwhelming majority of us, who passed on, is living, and is-going-to-be, a chronicle the world will never know, an existence little noted, and one of the greatest stories never told, written by an outstanding author: the individual himself.